February. Traditionally, this month is sweet enough to keep dental offices busy for the rest of the year. Restaurants take reservations weeks in advance, while beauticians are scheduled from dawn to dark. Pushy retailers capitalize on unrealistic expectations, fully aware that personal self-worth is often measured by social media "likes." This is the holiday of hasty marriage proposals and overdrawn bank accounts. While some enjoy the hoopla, others pray silently for the holiday to quickly pass. Whether this season finds you alone, enjoying friendship bonds or kindling a romance, all of us come face-to-face with defining our concept of "love." Valentine's Day commercials depict the romanticized image of love. Yet that picture is deeply flawed. Love is much more like sandpaper than we care to admit.
Love is not easy for human beings to define, but a closer look at the animal kingdom might help. Birds don't let emotions guide their parenting style. As a baby bird matures and prepares to take the next step, the mother begins to distance herself-prompting this adolescent to leave the comfortable nest in order to find sustenance. The materials that once made for a luxurious surface are removed and the bottom layer of thorns is now exposed. Some experts suggest that parents even push their young out of the nest in a shocking display of tough love; the offended birds often cry out, flailing their wings in distress. Sometimes they fall. In time, the baby bird becomes less awkward, gains muscle strength and develops survival skills. Likewise, the struggle of the caterpillar is the very catalyst that allows for a beautiful metamorphosis to take place. Purpose in turbulence.
The love of God is a beautiful phenomenon that defies comprehension. Yet some wish to equate God's love to that of an enabling parent who passively permits a wayward child to throw a tantrum. Ouch! In retrospect, I WAS THAT PARENT. As a single mother who adored my son, I wanted to cushion the blows and make life comfortable-sometimes missing those teachable moments. When we are coddled, we are also insulated from some of the most critical experiences that prepare us to face adversity. My only child was my entire world and I wanted to impart a legacy of love rather than hardship. But God's love is pure and complete. His tough love is also strong enough to hold us safely through the most violent hurricanes. At its core, healthy love has boundaries and encourages maximum growth. Love's cadence is not always soothing. Genuine love is not for the faint of heart.
As a teacher, I understand that silence does not equal absence. During tests, the students must perform under intense pressure, like diamonds in the rough. It is important to realize that God is never far away during our seasons of adversity. But authentic love challenges us to mature into better versions of ourselves. In my book, Storm Chasers, I write, "God is rocking my boat to make me walk on water." This may not seem like the earmark of a loving parent. And yet, here we are. The pandemic has brought out the best and worst in people--but God wants to remove the distractions and refocus our eyes on THE ONE THING THAT MATTERS. Tough love forces us to venture beyond familiar territory and obey the voice that spoke it all into existence; the promised land is ahead. While you admire the beauty of a Valentine's Day bouquet, remember Christ's ultimate act of love and embrace the thorns.
I Corinthians 13 (The Love Chapter)
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