Strong. Capable. Compassionate. Multi-tasker. Beautiful. Supportive. Informed. Organized. Fun. Loving. For every word that describes the "ideal" mother, there is a mask that hides insecurity and pain. Some vow to break toxic cycles from the past while fear is threatening to steal the present. After all, a mother's role has often been undervalued and subject to criticism that would bring the best of us to our knees. The unspoken rule is that she must carry the weight of this role gracefully or risk abject failure. The comparison trap only adds fuel to the fire, so people smile through the pain or don the most socially acceptable mask.
The new normal. A torn veil of vulnerability that leads to stifling isolation. There is no vaccination for the feeling that you just don't measure up. You may be able to conceal your identity from unwanted prying eyes, but God sees every tear that falls underneath the mask. The unsung hero. Maker of moments celebrated that are never reciprocated. You may not feel appreciated. A mother rarely is. But as surely as the sun rises, Motherhood is a sacred mantle. A superpower. A miracle. And there is a reservoir of strength for the journey.
Imagine the toll that motherhood must have taken on Mary, tasked with raising The Savior of Mankind. Consider the unrelenting pressure and scrutiny. Not only had her chastity been called into question during the pregnancy, but she also struggled with anxiety when Jesus became an adolescent. After Passover festivities, He stayed behind at the temple discussing fine points of doctrine without realizing that his worried mother had been sleep-deprived for three days. I can feel her guilt and pain-- "Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously." Sound familiar? We are in good company.
Whether you find yourself fully invested in the motherhood game or you are standing on the sidelines, God sees your struggle and He understands. The month of May often compounds the pressure to be perfect and idealizes biological connection, while overlooking equally important roles such as spiritual guidance and mentorship. Your womb does not determine your worth! It's time to remove the mask and take a deep restorative breath. Exposed, but not expelled. Stay in the game because The Referee has already made the call in your favor.
I call to you from the ends of the earth when my heart is without strength.
Lead me to a rock that is high above me. Psalm 61:2 Christian Standard Bible
Once again, Wendy, you have opened the eyes of a mother. Yes, we do wear masks. We don't always say or do what we would like to do, but instead, try to keep the peace and make everyone happy. I appreciate how the Catholic Church gives Mary her due; she didn't have an easy task. Like Mary, we have good times and not so good times, but it is all worth it! Congratulations from one mom to another. Have a happy May!