Sample piece by Wendy Aguiar (All rights reserved)

Growing Pains is a thought-provoking article that I wrote to describe "adulthood."

It’s not always easy to pinpoint the exact moment when the reality of adulthood sets in. You can’t find the line of demarcation. That would be way too easy. Instead, adulthood sets in slowly……insidiously…..crowding out the carefree and casual reality of yesterday and replacing it with the worry, responsibility and formality of adulthood today. One sure earmark of adulthood is when behaviors once viewed as “cute” become “irresponsible.” Childhood marks the time of freedom, exploration and fun in human existence. But all too quickly, we find ourselves chasing success and meeting deadlines instead of chasing butterflies and meeting new friends. We loved unconditionally, played with abandon and laughed at everything. We believed the best about people and looked for surprises around every corner. Is adulthood written into our DNA or is it a learned behavior? Whatever triggers the change….it is a radical one….that changes our lives forever. Adulthood means that life will never be the same.

For me, becoming a grown-up was bittersweet. I traded hot chocolates for lattes, dolls for diapers, and spontaneity for a 9 to 5. I learned that taxes could not be shunned, respect must be earned, and life isn’t always fair. College was a true lesson in adulthood. When I was a teenager, I stayed up because I wanted to have that “urgent” conversation with a friend or catch a late movie…..but as an adult, I had to pull frequent all-nighters to get through college and graduate school. After all, I had a full-time job because my bills just didn’t understand my educational goals! My need for Red Bull became more pronounced as adult responsibilities threatened to engulf me! I guess I realized that I had become an adult at 27 years old when I looked into the eyes of my newborn son and saw my reflection. I knew that I had a responsibility of epic proportions. He certainly put things in perspective and he became the center of my world. He never slept through the night until he was over two years old. I had a full-time job, and I still had to manage to perform it on less than four hours of sleep nightly.

Growing up is not for wimps. It is serious business. As a child, I was told, “Grow up” when I would clown around. As an adult, I am frequently warned, “Don’t take yourself so seriously!” It is easy to get confused with advice like this. I have become adept at handling my adult responsibilities. Or have I? Well, on the surface, I am an adult in every way. I am in my second year of teaching middle school. I am teaching the next generation to become responsible young adults who “Grow Up” and “Don’t take themselves too seriously.” I work hard, study hard and play hard. I pay my bills and file taxes. I take my son to guitar lessons and teach him the meaning of responsibility. I go to church and teach Sunday school. I take my car for oil changes and fill the gas tank. I grade homework on nights and weekends and tutor struggling students. I wash my car and always lend an ear to a friend in need. So am I really a grown-up?

I live my childhood vicariously through my son. I take him to see Disney movies….just to spend quality time with him, of course. I go to theme parks and scream with delight…..just to relate to him, of course. I spin around with him until I am dizzy…..because he enjoys it, of course. I eat ice cream and pizza with him….because I want to check the food quality, of course. And when I turn off my cell phone and just spend an afternoon building sand castles on the beach with him….it is because he needs my undivided attention, of course. If motherhood is the mark of adulthood, then, it is a mark that I will wear with honor. It’s my excuse to be a child again. It affords me the opportunity to revisit a time that was lost somewhere along the way. A simpler time. A time when daydreams were possible and drifting clouds could be castles, dogs or princesses. A time when popsicles seemed like a legitimate dinner and puddles were the best excuse to go barefoot. Of course, I protest, at first when my son wants me to play some silly game with him. The adult side of my nature gives a litany of excuses ranging from my workload to my level of exhaustion. However, the child in me finally takes over and I am the happier for it. Shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone that I am playing Dominoes or Wii Sports….I have a reputation to preserve! They think I am cleaning the house like a responsible adult. But the house can wait….my son won’t be a child forever.

I used to take life one day at a time. I never really planned ahead because it just wasn’t my style. I was a very spontaneous person who could not stand schedules. I have a creative nature and I tend towards being a free-spirit. Growing up changed all of that. I had to buy a Day Runner to help organize my time. The demands of work and family required that I have a plan. Appointments kept creeping up on me unannounced and deadlines were seen only as they flew past! As a child, my mother would gently remind me of my obligations. This arrangement worked out well for me until I was on my own. Buying my first Day Runner was like signing a contract with adulthood. My time was not really my own anymore and I must fight to keep any of it for myself. The Day Runner did organize my life into neat little compartments, but it also shifted my life into adult gear. Obligations, meetings and appointments found their way into the planner while fun dwindled into oblivion.

Growing up doesn’t have to be dreary, but we must be the ones to take charge of our destiny. I plan to continue having the best of both worlds. Perhaps, that is why I love working with children. It gives me the chance to be a child again. Who said that innocence and zest for life has to end when you become a grown-up? I carry out my adult responsibilities and drag myself home every day. Exhausted? Yes. But, then, I change out of my work clothes and into my pajamas and flip flops to enjoy being goofy with my son and I am revived. He has no expectations of me other than simply being “Mom.” I relish that freedom because it gives me the opportunity to love completely. Society has placed certain expectations on “adulthood” but we can redefine the word. Adulthood- (n.) The time in one’s life when physical maturity has been reached, allowing the individual to fully enjoy all benefits of childhood while carrying out expected social responsibilities. This definition may be revised as necessary.